we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He better not be in your backpack
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
