I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
