Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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