SEEEEXXX PLEASE
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
