whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
