Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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