so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
