the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
