This house was built for laser tag.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
