We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
