I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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