Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
