I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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