So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize