So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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