I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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