i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
