Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
