Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
