Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
