Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
