Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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