I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
