are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
