I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
