Whod you bang
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Randomize
