Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
thus making me awesome and them whores
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
