hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
