Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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