Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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