why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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