It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
