This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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