this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
