I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize