dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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