Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she smelled like a LAN party
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
a search helicopter?!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
