You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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