You just made me feel so damn special
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize