I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
