I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
