Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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