Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
White coat. Heels.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Randomize
