i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
