Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
