Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
