5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
