i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
