She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
