Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
