somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I deserve this hangover.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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