Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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