Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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