Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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