New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
