carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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