Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
