His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
