Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think my fart just growled at me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
