Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
