ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
