everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
