No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
