The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
