WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
