I wish I only lived at night.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I need a beard to bite.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
