Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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