I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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