Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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