just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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