she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I need a beard to bite.
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