well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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