So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
